Coming Out And How Our Family Was Affected

“Daddy, can you come up?”

I hear these words almost every night. Sometimes the request is for a cup of water, sometimes for help with a project, or tell me a story about her day.

This time was different.

Our daughter spread out these letters on her bed, hid under the covers and called me in. I read them out loud slowly, and pause…

coming out message
I am gay

Blue Is For Boys, Pink Is For Girls

I grew up in the 1970’s. My youth was spent in a time and culture when boys were boys, girls were girls, and each carried the weight of those specific gender roles. Masculinity was a man ordering dinner, and ordering for his date, “I’ll have the steak, and she’ll have the same.” It wasn’t just the era, it was also my culture that demanded traditional roles, defining men and women, and their relationships. My family embraced the Catholic faith, and my integration into the traditional roles started at a very early age. In the world I grew up in, being gay was different. It was strange, foriegn, and completely unknown.

So What Did I Do?

Looking at the spelled words and seeing my daughter’s message, after a brief pause I said:

“Honey, thank you so much for sharing this with me. You are the bravest girl in the world. I want you to know I love you and who you are. And, I’m here for you.”

All that came to mind in that moment was to be supportive. We gave each other a tight hug, and I caught a glimpse of a proud smile on her cheeks. She was proud of herself. She was confident in her identity, and I have never been so glad to see it. I asked her if she had anything more to share, or if she had any questions for me. After a quick thoughtful  moment she replied “No, not right now. But if I think of something I’ll tell you later”. 

I reflected, both proud and surprised at her confidence in sharing her feelings with me, understanding her own identity and sense of self. I was truly amazed at this young tremendous person.

Here’s How I Really Felt And Why I Was Worried

Soon after, I thought more about what my daughter had revealed, and here are my true feelings. 

I am so proud of this little young person. To know herself while growing up in a society celebrating a hetereo-centric worldview: the princess stories, the expected defined gender roles laid out by society, culture and religion… she accepted herself for who she is, and was brave to share it with her loved ones. 

I am so grateful my wife and I cultivated a family life to openly share our feelings. But, I was still worried. I knew nothing of the LGBTQ+ community. How could I truly support my child beyond words and hugs, and really show her encouragement and love?

Positive Messages

In that spirit, my wife and I set out to ensure our child would feel comfortable to be herself in every aspect of her life. We looked for ways to encourage and surround her with positive messages that embrace who she is, so she always feels seen, feels valid, and feels uplifted in her identity.

Cookie Pride was born from these messages, to give our daughter and people like her, a place to celebrate who they are.  

Be Proud, You Are Amazing

Cookie Pride strives to let others in the LGBTQIA+ community know that they are loved, supported and accepted. 

We are believers in LGBTQIA+ rights. Our daughter’s coming out inspired us on a journey to further educate ourselves in the rich history of the LGBTQIA+ community, and learn how to be better advocates. We continue to strive to always be an encouragement to her, and others like her, and embrace all identities.

Cookie Pride is a safe space to encourage and support. Be proud, you are amazing!